Friday, October 10, 2014

Good morning crew,


Actually Joe, as a senior citizen, I've found that you can never have enough "stuff". A homeowner starts off small and continually builds up his collection of "stuff", eventually forgetting what all the "stuff" he has. You'll be looking through your collection and come across "stuff" you forgot you had, but be glad you still have it. -Charles


Joe, you are a quick study to realize so early in the game that you will have a garage full of things you used once. You friends, relatives, and neighbors will want to borrow them, but you probably won't be able to find them until the need has passed. I speak from 44 years of experience. -Roger


I have always been of the opinion that if I haven't touched or thought about something in ten years then I probably don't need it. Of course, up until recently I haven't kept anything stored away in the garage or the back of my closets more valuable than some old college jerseys and broken boat parts. I guess I'll have to start re-evaluating some of my life rules.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A man in Scotland spent 18 months panning for gold to make into a wedding ring for his bride-to-be. That's lovely. But he's not doing anything to dispel the stereotype that Scottish people are stingy." -Craig Ferguson

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"Facebook is reportedly thinking of ways to incorporate health into their array of services. Here's how it'll work: If you get a cut or a bruise or something, take a picture of it and post it. If it gets more than 100 likes, you're cured. " -Jimmy Kimmel

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"A new study estimates that only 3.4 percent of Americans will vote in the midterm elections next month. But on the bright side, 100 percent will still complain about the results." -Jimmy Fallon

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I had given our daughter, who was 14 at the time, a driver's manual. On the way to town one day, I was coaching her as I drove. I told her to be studying her book so as to be ready when it came time to get her drivers permit.

"Oh, she said, "I already know everything in the book."

"You do?" I returned.

"Yep," she said, very smugly.

I thought, "OK, I'll give her a hard one." So I asked her, "How many feet does it take to stop the car if you are driving 60 miles an hour and have to slam on the brakes real hard?"

"One," she replied.

"What?" I asked.

"One?!" She repeated her answer and then because of the confused look on my face, she added, "You always told me never to use my left foot on the brakes, only use my right one."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
During my freshman year at East Texas State University in Commerce, I worked nights as a waiter. The following year, wanting my evenings free, I applied for a dormitory maintenance job and was asked, "How are you on punctuality?"

"Oh, I'm good at that," I blurted out without thinking. "I'm an English major."