Monday, July 14, 2014

Good morning crew,

I really didn't do much this weekend; went out for a few meals, walked through a few street fests, drank a few beers, so why do I feel like like I need a day off to recover from the last two days?

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"According to a new study, the largest producer of oil is now the United States. So you know what that means - any day now we'll be invading ourselves." -Dave Letterman

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"According to a new report, there is a shrine in Japan solely dedicated to hemorrhoids. Seating is limited, but usually available." -Seth Meyers

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"It's a full moon this weekend. So if you see someone with long fingernails and howling at the moon it's probably just a werewolf or Gary Busey. Gary Busey doesn't really exist. That's just a story to frighten children, isn't it?" -Craig Ferguson

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As a new school Principal, Mr. Mitchell was checking over his school on the first day. Passing the stockroom, he was startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for the arrival of students the next day.

The school where he had been a Principal the previous year had used a check-out system only slightly less elaborate than that at Fort Knox.

Cautiously, he asked the school's long time Custodian, "Do you think it's wise to keep the stock room unlocked and to let the teachers take things without requisitions?"

The Custodian looked at him gravely. "We trust them with the children, don't we?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
One caller to our answering service gave me his name, number and message and then said, "You know my name. What's yours?"

"We're not allowed to give our names," I replied, "but my operator number is 4136"

Sounding disappointed, he said, "May I call you by your first digit, or would that be too personal?"