Monday, August 17, 2015

Good morning crew,

You know how sometimes reality doesn't match expectations? Well, I got a real education in doing electrical work this weekend, and you know what I was surprised to discover? It involved a lot more back-breaking ditch digging than I was expecting.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A new survey found that half of all American employees have faked a sick day. While the other half have just lied on a survey." -Jimmy Fallon

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"Yesterday was National Middle Child Day. It's a holiday that doesn't matter much - just like a middle child. If you didn't notice National Middle Child Day, you celebrated it correctly, by the way." -Conan O'Brien

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"The number of shark attacks around the world increased by 25 percent. With the economy like it is, more and more sharks are turning to crime." -Jimmy Kimmel

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During our church service one Sunday, a parishioner was speaking about an emotionally charged topic and had trouble controlling her tears. Finishing her remarks, she told the congregation, "I apologize for crying so much. I'm usually not such a big boob."

The bishop rose to close the session and remarked sympathetically, "That's okay. We like big boobs."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A man walks into a bar with a little salamander-looking creature in his hand. The barman looks at the creature and asks the man what he calls it.

"His name is Tiny," replies the man.

"Why do you call him that?" asks the bartender.

"Because he's my newt!"