Monday, May 16, 2016

Good morning crew,

Welcome to Monday and finally some real spring weather. It is a comfortable 68 degrees here in the Chicago area under mostly sunny skies with big, fluffy white clouds being blown around by a gentle breeze. A more beautiful spring day you couldn't ask for.

I wasn't quite so lucky this weekend, more's the pity. I have been desperate to get my grill out and do a little manly, outdoor cookin', but the weather the last month has not been cooperating. So I finally lost my patience and decided to cook out this Saturday no matter what.

It ended up being about 47 degrees and cloudy, but at least it didn't rain, so I didn't have to burn down the garage just to grill up a few sausages and chicken wings.

Sunday turned out to be a much nicer day, getting up to about 65 sunny degrees. I guess it worked out well since the wife and I took the opportunity to do about 5 hours of over-due yard work.

I spent most of the afternoon on my hands and knees pulling weeds in the lawn.

If only the weather had been reversed I could have enjoyed a warm and pleasant cookout on Saturday and then blown the yard work for another week.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Employees at a Domino's Pizza saved a customer's life by checking on him after they didn't hear from him, because he's ordered a pizza every day for 10 years. No word on what was wrong with him, but I'm guessing it had something to do with ordering a pizza every day for 10 years." -Jimmy Fallon

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"A federal judge ruled yesterday that California's version of the death penalty is unconstitutional. Apparently the difference is California's version has avocado on it." -Seth Meyers

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"Budweiser announced that this summer they will rename their beer 'America.' So starting in June, you're not an alcoholic - you're a patriot." -Conan O'Brien

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Curious when I found two black-and-white negatives in a drawer, I had them made into prints. I was pleasantly surprised to see that they were of a younger, slimmer me, taken on one of my first dates with my husband.

When I showed him the photos, his face lit up. "Wow, look at that!" he said. "It's my old Plymouth!"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A seven-year-old boy is sitting at the dinner table with his parents. Suddenly he announces, "Me and Janie next door are gonna get married!"

"Oh?" says the mother, amused. "And how old is Janie?"

"Six," replies the boy.

"Well," says the father, "what are you going to do for money?"

"I get 5 dollars a week allowance," says the son, "and Janie gets 2. We figured that if we put them together, we'll be okay."

"I see," says the father. "But what are you going to do if you have any children?"

"Well," says the boy, "so far we've been lucky."