Monday, February 6, 2012

Good morning crew,

There was a promotion test at the school this weekend. That is always an adventure. I spend months teaching the little kids their fighting forms and kicking and defense combinations until they can do them for me blindfolded. Quite literally. In fact, blindfolding eliminates distractions and the kids are often able to perform better than when they're looking at me for directions.

And then, when the big day comes, all of the parents are crammed into the gym and all eyes are on the kids, they stand in the middle of the mat in front of the grand master and...

Can't remember a single, solitary thing. Then the parents look at me like, 'What have you been teaching these kids for the last eight weeks?'

Actually, that's not completely true. A lot of the parents hang out and watch the classes, so they know the kids are learning. But it's still a little embarrassing.

Fortunately that phase only lasts through orange, or maybe even green belt. After that they get used to testing and perform much better.

Plus, by that time they also start sparring classes, which means I get to kick 'em. And that helps with the motivation.

If any parents are interested in having me teach their kids taekwondo, email me!

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A man in Thailand was arrested with more than 10,000 pairs of stolen underwear. Legal experts are expecting a brief trial." -Jimmy Fallon

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"The agriculture department says we now have the smallest cattle population in 60 years. That shows you how fat we're getting. We're close to putting cows on the endangered species list." -Jay Leno

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"The FDA -- the Food and Drug Administration -- has set up a new procedure by which new drugs will be tested and approved in four years. It's called college." --Craig Ferguson

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A woman walked into the elevator tossing her keys up in the air and catching them. After one too many tosses, she dropped the keys, and we watched as they disappeared into the crack between the open doors and the floor.

I felt terrible for her. Or I did until she cried, "Oh no! Not again!"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
I was driving around and around a parking garage in search of an available space. Nothing. Then I noticed a couple walking ahead of me.

"Going out?" I called to them hopefully.

"No," said the man. "Just friends."