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Thursday, April 19, 2012

Good morning crew,

The girlfriend got us tickets to see Trans-Siberian Orchestra this weekend, and as a bonus they are performing at a casino, which means there are adult fun and games to be had afterward.

Predictably, I have gotten debilitatingly sick over the last couple of days. It seems like everybody is getting sick and I guess it was just my turn on the roulette wheel.

I am actually surprised that I lasted this long. Half of the little kids at the school are sick and the parents keep bringing them in. I must have been sneezed and coughed on two hundred times in the last couple of weeks.

So I am going to see how much sleep I can get in the next two days. It would be a real shame to miss the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Those guys are awesome.

By the way, if you are the kind of person who likes to bring the party with you wherever you go, you might want to check out our new "Road Trip Buddy" (at least that's what I call it).

Basically, it is a portable cooler for your car. It's collapsible, insulated and it has a few other cool, little features, not the least of which is the low price of only $11.47. Give it a look-see right here.

See the Front Seat Cooler and Organizer Here

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A new report found that high schools across the country are not doing enough to teach kids about safe sex. But on the bright side, it looks like we're getting a fifth season of 'Teen Mom.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"It's a great day if you like paying your taxes. It is your patriotic duty. If nobody paid taxes, imagine what the country would be like. America would be flat broke. All right, we'd be more flat broke." -Craig Ferguson

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"In case you're wondering where your tax dollars go, 21 percent goes to Medicare and Medicaid, 20 percent to social security, 20 percent to defense spending, and the other 39 percent they squander." -Jimmy Kimmel

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Manning the computer help desk for the local school district was my first job. And though I was just an intern, I took the job very seriously. But not every caller took me seriously.

"Can I talk to a real person?" a caller asked.

"I am real," I said.

"Oh, I'm sorry," the caller said. "That was rude of me. What I meant to say was, could I talk to someone who actually knows something?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

English professors love to catch the errors students make in their term papers, and they love nothing better than to catch mixed metaphors. The "friends and survivors" of Calvin College English department collected this list of mixed metaphors and posted them on their web site:

"He swept the rug under the carpet."
"She's burning the midnight oil at both ends."
"It was so cold last night I had to throw another blanket on the fire."
"It's time to step up to the plate and cut the mustard."
"She's robbing Peter to pay the piper."
"He's up a tree without a paddle."
"Beware my friend...you are skating on hot water."
"Keep your ear to the grindstone."
"Sometimes you've gotta stick your neck out on a limb."
"Some people sail through life on a bed of roses like a knife slicing through butter."