Monday, March 30, 2015

Good morning crew,

Despite our most solemn determination to start saving more money, the wife and I still managed to go out this weekend.

Twice.

Well, we solemnly determined that instead of making a box of macaroni and cheese at home we would rather go out for applewood smoked pork belly and fried egg sandwiches with roasted garlic aioli.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Burger King stores in Japan are reportedly planning to sell Whopper-scented cologne for those special occasions when you want to smell like the inside of a fat guy's car." -Seth Meyers

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"NASA's Mars rover just completed its first marathon after it spent the last 11 years traveling over 26 miles. It took 11 years to go 26 miles. Or as my grandma calls that, 'driving.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"According to a new study, human waste contains gold and other valuable minerals. In the future this could make things awkward when a cashier asks, 'How would you like to pay for that?'" -Conan O'Brien

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Recent scandals over how large companies have been cooking the books reminds me of a basic accounting course I took years ago. The professor was explaining an accounting method called First In Last Out, which is useful for industries that accumulate large inventories of stuff. It explains why the oil industry, for example, reported huge profits during the 1970's when the oil shortage occurred. They stopped buying oil, so they had to use oil that, on paper, had been purchased in the 1930's at 20¢ a barrel. They of course sold it at current market prices, which accounted for their huge profits.

One of the students put up his hand and said, "Excuse me, sir, but that doesn't sound very ethical to me."

To which the professor replied, "You're in the wrong class, son, this is Accounting 101. Ethics 101 is down the hall."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
For 40 years my grandfather put in long hours at his job, so I was more than a little curious about the way he filled his days since his retirement. "How has life changed?" I asked.

A man of few words, he replied, "Well, I get up in the morning with nothing to do, and I go to bed at night with it half-done."