Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Good morning crew,

Have you ever seen something that you immediately knew you were going to buy, even though you had no need for it, couldn't afford it and probably shouldn't have it to begin with; like a boat, or a motorcycle, or a Viking helmet, or that fifteenth beer? I had a moment like that this weekend at Fall Fest.

In addition to food and drinks and music, Frankfort's Fall Fest has a large arts and crafts show. Even if there isn't anything practical, the crafts are always fun to look at and there is frequently something I can talk myself into spending a little money on.

For example; there was a woman there selling jewelry she made out of old coinage. The wife bought a pair of earrings and I bought a set of cufflinks, both made out of Mercury head dimes.

Now that is small, fun and harmless, and not too expensive, but then I came across something I wish I had never seen. There was a guy who sold original, refurbished, copper and brass fire extinguishers from the 1920s and 30s.

Absolutely worthless as anything other than an oddity, but they were so shiny! That burnished copper just sparkled in the sunlight, and each piece had been meticulously restored right down to the hand-painted insignia and instructions. They were beautiful.

But when I asked him what he wanted for them I had to walk away. I realize the amount of work he must have put into each one, but there was no way I was shelling out that kind of coin for something I have absolutely no use for.

So the wife and I walked back to the beer garden behind the Old Plank Trail Tavern where we refreshed ourselves with a couple beverages and I explained my rationalization for why buying an antique fire extinguisher was not only a stupid idea but also completely unaffordable.

As we were driving home an hour later I suggested we stop by my brother Nino's house so I could show off my new fire extinguisher. You should have seen his face when I lugged that thing up onto his kitchen counter.

"Does it work?" he asked.

"Of course not," I said. "This thing is an antique! It is strictly a display piece. But look at the quality!"

"So you bought an 80-year-old fire extinguisher that doesn't work. What are you going to do with it?"

"I'm not sure. I guess for now I'll display it behind my bar."

Nino nodded his head appreciatively, "Nice."

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"According to researchers in London, babies are born to dance, and they greatly prefer music to speech. The music they like best is Lady Gaga." -Jay Leno

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"Scientists now say French kissing can lead to sexually transmitted diseases. I think I have a way to avoid French kissing: Get married." -David Letterman

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"A survey has found that 26 percent of people admit to texting while driving. The other 74 percent admitted to texting while being hit by a car." -Jimmy Fallon

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Neighbors of ours had a terrible disagreement over a patio they wanted for their backyard. The wife had rather grand ideas, while the husband wanted costs kept to a minimum. The wife won out, and the construction bill climbed higher and higher.

I dropped by one day, when the patio was near completion, and was surprised to find the husband smiling from ear to ear as the workmen smoothed over the surface. I remarked how nice it was to see a grin replace the frown he had been wearing lately.

"You see where they're smoothing that cement?" he replied. "I just threw my wife's credit cards in there."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Did you hear about the two guys who decided to try duck hunting? They bought new outfits & equipment, and went out to a place in the woods where they heard the hunting was really good. But after several hours of thrashing through the woods, one fellow said, "I don't know about this. We've been out here all day and haven't caught a single duck. Do you think we're doing something wrong?"

"I don't know," replied the other. "Maybe we're not throwing the dog high enough."