Friday, November 14, 2014

Good morning crew,

Payday! Tonight I am going to celebrate having more in my pockets than lint by taking the wife out to dinner. My brother Nino discovered a restaurant called Owa Tagu Siam, or something, some kind of Asian fusion cuisine, so we are going there to test it out.

I found the menu online and it looks pretty aggressive. More of an assault on your mouth than a meal. I like being experimental with my dining experiences, but the wife's tastes are a little more pedestrian.

I don't know how she will deal with menu options like; Sesame Sea Urchin, Spicy Thai Pork Balls and Sweet-and-Sour Lobster Heads with Aromatic Cabbage Grass.

She is more of a fettuccine alfredo kind of girl.

But, we'll see. She has supplemented her dinners out with me before by stopping at White Castle on the way home, so she won't go hungry.

The only thing that makes me nervous is that the online menu doesn't have any prices. Just because I get paid today doesn't mean I can blow a fortune on one wild night of spicy balls.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"RadioShack announced that it will open its stores at 8 a.m. on Thanksgiving day. They say they're staying open to accommodate their target demo: people who forgot to bring an iPhone charger to their parents' house." -Jimmy Fallon

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"In Beaumont, California, two people have lined up over two weeks early at Best Buy for Black Friday. The two people said they're hoping to get a great deal on a life." -Conan O'Brien

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"Yesterday a couple of guys busted into a store here in the neighborhood and stole $2 million worth of money and watches. The police described them as armed and punctual." -Dave Letterman

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My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were driving through Georgia. Hoping to get off with a warning, Mom tried to appear shocked when he walked up to the car.

"I have never been stopped like this before," she said to the officer.

"What do they usually do, ma'am," he asked, "shoot the tires out?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a checkup and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?"

The old timer said, "I'm a golfer and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways."

The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your father when he died?"

The old timer said, "Who said my father's dead?"

The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your father is still alive? How old is he?"

The old timer said, "He's 100 years old and, in fact, he golfed with me this morning. That's why he's still alive, he's a golfer."

The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How about your grandfather? How old was he when he died?"

The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"

The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! How old is he?"

The old timer said, "He's 118 years old."

The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?"

The old timer said, "No...Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he got married."

The doctor said in amazement, "Got married!! Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?"

The old timer shot back, "Who said he wanted to?"