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Tuesday, February 18, 2014Good morning crew,
One small advantage of the mini-blizzard we suffered through yesterday is that the red light camera which was frantically snapping pictures of me slaloming through a snow-packed intersection this morning only recorded the four inches of snow and ice packed onto the back bumper of my truck.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.comP.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchives***"To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost." --Gustave Flaubert
***"The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not." --George Bernard Shaw
***"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." --Bernard Bailey
***A man rushed into a bar and ordered a double martini. The man downed it with one swallow, put a five dollar bill on the bar, and turned and rushed out of the bar.
The bartender picked up the five-dollar bill, folded it carefully and tucked it in his vest pocket. Just at that moment he looked up at the boss standing in the doorway staring at him.
Doing a bit of fast thinking he said, "Hi boss, did you see that fellow just now? Came in here, bought a double martini, gave me a five dollar tip, and rushed out without paying."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*Two guys who worked together were both laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, the first guy said, "Panty stitcher...I sew the elastic onto women's panties."
The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.
The second guy was asked his occupation. "Diesel fitter," he replied.
Diesel fitter is listed as a skilled job, so the clerk gave the second guy $600 a week. When the first guy found out he was furious. He stormed into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.
The clerk explained, "Panty stitchers are unskilled, and diesel fitters are skilled labor."
"What skill?!" yelled the panty stitcher. "I sew the elastic and...he pulls on it and says, "Yep, dese'll fit 'er."