Monday, June 24, 2013

Good morning crew,

Driving through largely rural Michigan last week gave me an opportunity to deliver one of those rare, perfectly-timed jokes. We were on a local route that took us past many small farms. Driving past one in particular we saw a woman in a bright pink shirt standing, apparently idly, in the middle of an unplowed field.

Pointing her out to the wife I said, "I wonder if that woman is going to get an award."

"Why would she get an award," she asked, giving me the perfect set up.

"Because," I said savoring the moment, "she is out standing in her field!"

Now you have an idea of what kind of laugh riot it is being on a road trip with me.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A survey found that 61 percent of people are more afraid of outliving their money than dying. The other 39 percent have already outlived their money and have faked their own death to avoid creditors." -Jay Leno

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"NASA is challenging Americans to help them figure out a better way to find threatening asteroids. Americans said, 'What do we get if you pick our idea?' And NASA said, 'To live.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"Did you see the pictures of Obama and Putin at the G-8 summit? It was like Thanksgiving with your relatives. The problem there is they have nothing to say to one another because they've been bugging each other's phones." -Dave Letterman

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A customer walked into our insurance office looking for a quote. But first I had to lead her through a litany of questions, including: "Marital status?"

"Well," she began, "I guess you could say we're happy-as happy as most other couples nowadays."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Why A Ship Is Called "SHE"

A ship is called "she" because there is always a great deal of bustle about her; there is usually a gang of men about', she has a waist and stays; it takes a lot of paint to keep her looking good; it is not the initial expense that breaks you, it is the upkeep; she can be all decked out; it takes an experienced man to handle her correctly, and without a man at the helm, she is absolutely uncontrollable. She shows her topsides, hides her bottom and, when coming into port, always heads for the buoys.