Thursday, October 3, 2013

Good morning crew,

I'm not sure what I did, but I pulled something fierce last night in class in sparring class. It's in the region below my belt and above my knees. Generally the area where you least want to pull a muscle or tendon. The really embarrassing part is that I did it while sparring with kids. If I were smart I would have made up a story about being attacked my ninjas, or something.

I am in a considerable amount of pain so I am debating taking a few nights off from class. The last thing I want to do is drag an injury like this out.

I don't have anything to prove. I'm no Bruce Lee. I'm not even Chinese.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"The federal government has shut down, and 800,000 federal employees are out of work. That explains why tonight our entire studio audience is made up of park rangers and astronauts." -Conan O'Brien

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"Yeah, money is tight right now in Washington. In fact after 128 years, the National Aquarium in D.C. may have to close because it's running out of money. Officials say they plan on relocating all the fish to another aquarium nearby -- then the fish were like, 'Hey, isn't that a Red Lobster?'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"The government may be shut down. But we are open for business here! What are we doing here? Shouldn't we all be out looting a Best Buy or something? Who wants to start a post-apocalyptic motorcycle gang?" -Jimmy Kimmel

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I'm not the easiest guy in the world to get along with. So when our anniversary rolled around, I wanted my wife to know how much I appreciated her tolerating me for the past 20 years. I ordered flowers and told the florist to enclose a card that read, 'Thanks for putting up with me so long.'

When my wife got the delivery, she called me at work.

"Just where do you think you going?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" I said.

She read the card aloud as the florist had written it: "Thanks for putting up with me. So long."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Years of smoking finally caught up with my friend John one morning when he keeled over at work, clutching his heart. He was rushed to a hospital and peppered with questions.

"Do you smoke?" asked a paramedic.

"No," John whispered. "I quit."

"That's good. When did you quit?"

"Around 9:30 this morning."