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Monday, August 30, 2010

Good morning crew,

Old Mason's neighbors don't know who I am, but they hate me.
I guarantee it. The last time I went over to his new house I
brought over one of those metal, portable fire pits which we
proceeded to use all night, filling the entire neighborhood
with thick, acrid smoke until one o'clock in the morning.

This weekend I brought over my new throwing knives which I
bought last weekend at the Ren Faire. Once again we stayed
up until one o'clock in the morning flinging them inexpertly
at a chunk of wood set up in his front yard. Every few
seconds the night was punctuated with a loud 'PING!' as the
knives failed to stick in the block.

That was bad enough, but each miss was followed by us both
laughing at each other like idiots. It was funny to us, any-
way.

Needless to say his wife abandoned us early on in the
business. I don't think she wanted to have to incriminate
her husband in case the cops showed up.

Laugh it up,

Joe

mailto:joe@gophercentral.com

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***

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Manning the computer help desk for the local school district
was my first job. And though I was just an intern, I took the
job very seriously. But not every caller took me seriously.

"Can I talk to a real person?" a caller asked.

"I am real," I said.

"Oh, I'm sorry," the caller said. "That was rude of me. What
I meant to say was, could I talk to someone who actually
knows something?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

At the school where my mother worked, the two first-grade
teachers were Miss Paine and Mrs. Hacking. One morning the
mother of a student called in the middle of a flu epidemic
to excuse her daughter from school.

"Is she in Paine or Hacking?" the school secretary asked.

"She feels fine," said the confused mom. "We have company,
and I'm keeping her home."

____________________________________________________________

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