Monday, August 22, 2011

Good morning crew,

Okay...okay! So I did end up buying something at the Ren Faire. But (and I have a big but here) I did not go to the credit card to do it. Nope. I only bought something that I could afford with the cash I had on-hand.

And it wasn't a sword, or a viking helmet or something ridiculous. It was a well thought-out purchase. Something artistic and unique, but practical as well. I got a drum.

One of those handmade, hourglass shaped, bongo type drums.

And if you don't think something like that would get a lot of use you should know that the girlfriend banged on it to the entire Best of Harry Belafonte CD during the drive home.

And if you've never heard an amateur with a few drinks under her belt play a bongo along with the 'Banana Boat' song, you're missing out.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at the right of the page!


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"The CEO of Starbucks said that President Obama shouldn't be vacationing during a crisis, and that he should be getting Americans back to work ? so they can afford a $9 cup of coffee." -Conan O'Brien

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"A study showed that every hour of TV you watch after the age of 25 shortens your life by 22 minutes. That doesn't sound too bad to me. You'd probably watch TV with that 22 minutes anyway." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"A new study found that 20 percent of Internet time is spent on social networking sites. While the other 80 percent is spent hiding a Facebook window behind Excel." -Jimmy Fallon

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Think About It!

* Money doesn't bring you happiness, but it enables you to look for it in more places.

* Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong, but it sure keeps you from enjoying it.

* Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

* Misers aren't much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.

* Be careful what rut you choose. You may be in it the rest of your life.

* The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

* When you see the handwriting on the wall, you can bet you're in a public restroom.

* Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

* The real reason you can't take it with you is that it goes before you do.

* Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.

* Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.

* A closed mouth gathers no feet.

* A man (or woman) who can smile when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

* A modern pioneer is a woman who can get through a rainy Saturday with a television on the blink.

* The world is full of willing people: some willing to work and some willing to let them.

* Money isn't everything....there's credit cards, money orders, and travelers checks.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
My father was extremely nervous about his first funeral service as a Navy chaplain, but the undertaker assured him that he would prompt him. All went well until, at the close, the undertaker whispered to him to instruct the family to come up and view the body. "Will the family now come forward and pass around the bier," said my father.

He cringed inwardly when he heard his own words. Later, as my father was leaving, he overheard two of the cemetery workers talking. "I didn't get any beer," one said. "Did you?"

"You heard the chaplain," the other replied. "It was just for the family."