Monday, September 17, 2012

Good morning crew,

I did not get to go to Oktoberfest. Of all the things that could possibly have happened, I went to breakfast Saturday morning and got food poisoning. The pain was...exceptional.

So other than cursing the restaurant that poisoned me and lying on the sofa in a fetal position I didn't do much. I did look up symptoms of and treatments for food poisoning, and everything I read suggested staying well-hydrated until the symptoms pass.

And I have heard worse excuses to drink beer.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"McDonald's announced they're going to start posting for the first time ever the calorie count of their menu items. Not to be outdone, Cinnabon announced they will start announcing their death toll." -Conan O'Brien

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"A new poll claims that 58 percent of Americans believe Barack Obama would beat Mitt Romney in a fistfight. I didn't realize that was an option. Maybe we can wrap this election up tonight. Make it a pay-per-view event. We could wipe out the national debt in one night." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"A new survey found that the tooth fairy left about 42 cents less in 2011 than it did the year before. When kids lose teeth now, they're like, 'Ehh, I'm gonna hold onto this until the market improves.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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For a romantic touch, I washed our sheets with lavender-scented fabric softener. When my husband got into bed, he sniffed. "What's this?" he asked.

"Guess," I said coyly.

"I have no idea," he said. "It smells like the stuff you use to line the hamster's cage."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
The dogs next door get a little noisy, so one day somebody called animal control to complain. When the officers arrived, I heard my neighbor tell them, "Hey, dogs bark. It's human nature."