Monday, September 9, 2013

Good morning crew,

Sometimes the most obvious rules are the easiest ones to forget. Take this past Saturday, for example. The wife and I went out for dinner at a local steak place, and because I still have a bowl full of them I brought a couple of jalapeno peppers with me to enjoy with my meal.

Now, anybody who knows anything about peppers will tell you that the pulp and the seeds inside the pepper tend to be bitter and ruin the flavor, so it is always a good idea to cut them open and remove them before eating.

So I was dutifully doing this with my butter knife at the table when our steaks arrived. We enjoyed our meals, I had my peppers, and then after dinner we retired to the bar for a little nightcap.

It had been a long day, and despite my wife's sparkling conversation a yawn crept over me raising my hands to my face I rubbed my eyes.

As the tears from the jalapeno residue on my fingers streamed down my cheeks my wife actually laughed at me.

Now that's love for you.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A 5-year-old boy in China has become the youngest person ever to fly an airplane. In about an hour from now, people are hoping he will become the youngest person to LAND an airplane." -Conan O'Brien

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"You can now buy a coffin that has a $30,000 stereo system. That's right. You can be buried in a coffin with a stereo system that costs $30,000. Or you can just bury the $30,000. It's the same thing." -Dave Letterman

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"An 80-year-old weightlifter has been banned from the sport for two years after he was caught using steroids at a competition. Officials became suspicious that he was using steroids when he was an 80-year-old man in a weightlifting competition." -Jimmy Fallon

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In 1923, Who Was...

1. President of the largest steel company?

2. President of the largest gas company?

3. President of the New York Stock Exchange?

4. Greatest wheat speculator?

5. President of the Bank of International Settlement?

6. Great Bear of Wall Street?

These men were considered some of the worlds most successful of their days.

Now, 82 years later, history tells us what ultimately became of them.

The Answers:

1. The president of the largest steel company. Charles Schwab, died a pauper.

2. The president of the largest gas company, Edward Hopson, went insane.

3. The president of the NYSE, Richard Whitney, was released from prison to die at home

4. The greatest wheat speculator, Arthur Cooger, died abroad, penniless.

5. The president of the Bank of International Settlement, shot himself.

6 The Great Bear of Wall Street, Cosabee Livermore, also committed suicide.

However, in that same year, 1923, the PGA Champion and the winner of the most important golf tournament, the US Open, was Gene Sarazen.

So, what became of him?

He played golf until he was 92, and died in 1999 at the ripe old age of 95! He was *very* financially secure at the time of his death.

The moral here:

Forget work.
Play golf!


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
My dear friend, a divorcee, never remarried, and her daughter wanted to know why.

"The men I know would bring too much heavy baggage to the marriage and I simply don't want to put up with it," she explained.

Taking her mother's hand in hers, my friend's daughter said sweetly, "I hate to break the news to you, Mom, but you're not exactly carry-on yourself."