Monday, April 4, 2011
Good morning crew,
I sit in a little cubicle farm with six women and Steve
from The Daily Groaner. Okay, six and a half women. Any-
way, I've always felt like a bit of an outsider because
I could never understand most of their conversations, but
I think I may have finally figured it out.
I feel like Jane Goodall when she was finally able to
communicate with the gorillas in their unspoken language.
I understand it now.
It revolves largely around four principal topics, those
being; What day is it? What are we having for lunch? When
are we leaving for lunch? And, What is on TV tonight.
Combinations of these four interrogatives comprises the
bulk of the conversations that occur between the women in
the office.
Now that I understand the way the tribe communicates I can
begin decoding their language. And if I find out that they
are really only discussing what day it is, what they are
having for lunch and what is on TV tonight I am going to be
really upset.
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
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"English farmers are feeding their cattle healthier food to
reduce the amount of gas they produce. Farmers also say they
won't fall for the old 'pull my hoof' trick." -Conan O'Brien
***
"A new survey found that 55 percent of men expect to pay on
the first date. While the other 45 percent have never been
on a second date." -Jimmy Fallon
***
"There's a new reality show about coal miners. It?s about
time we honor America's coal miners. Without them, American
snowmen wouldn't have eyes." -Craig Ferguson
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While working in the library at a university, I was often
shocked by the excuses students would use to get out of
paying their fees for overdue books. One evening an older
student returned two books that were way overdue and threw
a fit over the "outrageous" $2 fee that I asked her to pay.
I tried to explain how much she owed for each day, but she
insisted she should be exempt. "You don't understand," she
blurted out. "I didn't even read them!"
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
As a new paratrooper, I was struck by all the T-shirts on
base emblazoned with the motto "Death from above!" Later I
noticed a submariner with a T-shirt that declared "Death
from below!"
Then, standing in line for chow one day, I was served by an
Army cook. His T-shirt had a skull with a crossed fork and
spoon underneath and yet another warning: "Death from within!"
____________________________________________________________
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