Monday, April 18, 2016

Good morning crew,

I think I married one of those weird ones.

The wife and I were in the grocery store the other day and we stopped in the pet food aisle so the wife could pick up some food for the mutt.

While she was trying to decide between Rosemary Chicken with Spring Vegetables and Grilled Steak and Eggs Flavor (the stupid dog eats better than I do sometimes) I noticed some all-natural, peanut butter flavored dog treats on the next shelf.

As I was reading the ingredients I commented, "We should get these for the mutt."

The wife took a look at what I was reading and said, "Those are 8 dollars."

"So what?" I told her. "Look, it's made with organic peanut butter and chicken meal and no preservatives."

She stared at me for a few seconds with kind of a weird look on her face then said, "I'm so turned on right now."

I'm not sure how to take that.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Men look at women the way men look at cars. Everyone looks at Ferraris. Now and then we like a pickup truck, but we all end up buying station wagons." --Tim Allen

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"Four kids! If you want to know what it's like to have a fourth just imagine you're drowning...and then someone hands you a baby." -Jim Gaffigan

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"Does anyone know if 'Take Your Daughter to Work Day' is the same day as 'Lock Your Son Up in a Closet Day?' Cause it would really save me some time." --Bob Van Voris

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At a workshop on dog temperament, the instructor noted that a test for a canine's disposition was for an owner to fall down and act hurt. A dog with poor temperament would try to bite the person, whereas a good dog would lick his owner's face or show concern.

Once, while eating pizza in the living room, I decided to try out this theory on my two dogs. I stood up, clutched my heart, let out a scream and collapsed on the floor.

The dogs looked at me, glanced at each other and raced to the coffee table for my pizza.

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
"Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?" I asked my friend.

"He wants to be a garbage man," he replied.

"That's an unusual ambition to have at such a young age."

"Not really. He thinks that garbage men work only on Tuesdays."