Monday, April 6, 2015

Good morning crew,

You know you've had a busy weekend when you're happy to be back at work on Monday. The only thing I'm not looking forward to is going from a weekend of honey baked hams, roast turkeys, cheesy quiches, gourmet pizzas and creamy chicken and rice casseroles, back to my normal diet of oat meal and tuna salad (not at the same time, of course).

Well, I guess not every day can be a holiday.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

***
My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last night it took four state troopers and a dog.

***
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

***
"My girlfriend is not a ball and chain--she's more of a spring-loaded trap." --Kevin Hench

***
While working in a clothing store, I noticed that people had no shame about returning items that obviously had been worn. One rainy morning I walked in and found a discolored blazer hanging on the rack with other returns. "People return the most filthy, nasty things," I commented to my supervisor who was standing nearby.

Eyebrow raised, she said, "That's MY jacket."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
On a whim a man decided to get his wife a dozen roses and surprise her after work.

The minute he opened the door, his wife took one look at the flowers in his hand and started screaming, "This is the worst day that I have EVER had! The kids have been terrible. They got in a food fight, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement, I burned dinner, the dog chewed up my best pair of shoes...AND NOW YOU'VE GOT THE NERVE TO COME HOME DRUNK!"