Double The Life of Fruits & Veggies & Keep Your Fridge Cleaner!
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/1133/c/186/a/505
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Thursday, April 15, 2010
Good morning crew,
So the big painting party is this Saturday. I have
recruited four people to help. The rule, when you ask
friends to help you paint, or move, or do any big
project, is you have to supply them with beer and pizza.
The problem in this situation is painting is a job that
requires a modicum of skill and technique. I don't want
a bunch of half drunk vandals destroying the resale value
of my condo!
And I know whereof I speak. The last time old Mason asked
me to help paint his place I had a few beers by early
afternoon which made me a little mischievous and I painted
"Joe Was Here" on one wall with a roller.
Even after I painted over it you could still see the words
when you looked at the right angle.
To keep that kind of thing from happening at my place I
am going to have to figure out a way to keep these lushes
away from the beer until at least most of the work is done.
Maybe I'll issue some kind of drink tickets and put my
girlfriend in charge of the cooler. Not even these guys
would attack a woman.
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
P.S. We now have a Forum. You can post comments on this and
recent issues at... http://cleanlaffs.gophercentral.com
***
Loveable Lion DVD Collection
You'll Fall In Love With Lions...
Normal Price: $34.99
DEAL PRICE: $8.88
This collection includes the DVD's Christian The Lion and
Born Free... Two heartwarming ALL-TRUE tales of two different
lion that are loved and love humans. A must see for any animal
lover.
BORN FREE: In Kenya, British game warden George Adamson and
his wife Joy raise a lioness, Elsa, as a pet, only to discover
that they must retrain her to live in the wild in order to
prevent the Government from placing her in a zoo. Based on
Joy's book, BORN FREE is a touching true story the whole family
can experience together.
CHRISTIAN THE LION: As Seen on The View & The Today Show Here
is the beautiful, all true story, about Christian the Lion.
After years of being raised around humans, Christian considers
himself a human too. Follow his story as he is introduced to
the wild African plains for the first time in his life. And
then the whole, full story of the reunion of Christian with
the folks who raised them.... You won't believe how your heart
will melt!
Grab this collection and these DVDs will be two of your favorite
of all time for just $8.88:
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***
"Historians just found a document that showed a list of
liquor George Washington wanted for his New York head-
quarters, including a keg of brandy, a box of claret, a
box of fortified wine, a basket of cordials and two kinds
of cheese. So not only was George Washington the father of
our country, he also invented the mini-bar." -Jimmy Kimmel
***
"A survey has found that 26 percent of people admit to
texting while driving. The other 74 percent admitted to
texting while being hit by a car." -Jimmy Fallon
***
"The Census Bureau reported that Las Vegas is about to pass
Washington, D.C. in population. Of course, there's a huge
difference between Vegas and Washington. See, in Las Vegas,
people gamble with their own money." --Jay Leno
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Cell Phone Charging Shelf Stand
You'll want one for every cell phone user....
List Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $5.99
Get Two For: $9.98
Not only are dangling cords unsightly when charging your
cell phone, MP3 player, phone, PDA, iPod, PSP, or other
hand-held devices, you don't want to leave it on the
floor where they can get stepped on or the cords can be
a tripping hazard.
This Cell Phone Charging Shelf Stand is a great little
gadget. This handy shelf hangs adjacent to the plug,
keeping your phone safe, and the cords neatly wrapped
and out of the way.
Just put it on top of your outlet, plug your cord through
the opening, and wrap excess cord around base. Place
device on plastic cradle. Cradle size is: 4" x 3" x 4".
Great For Charging:
- Cell Phones
- PDAs
- PSPs
- iPods & other MP3 players
- any other handheld devices...
Get one for $5.99 or save more and get two for $9.98.
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[Following are some very funny spelling bloopers caught in
local newspapers, publications and various emails. See if
you can catch the goofs.]
1. "...an autopsy to determine if the elderly man lost
courteousness for medical reasons." (Trenton, N.J.)
2. "[An NBA coach] will take charge of a young team still in
the throws of a roster overhaul." (Vernon, Conn.)
3. "'It's pretty exciting,' according to his material grand-
mother." (Potsdam, N.Y.)
4. "The MCCC fight team won 21 out of 32 awards and brought
home nine metals." Including the gold? (Trenton, N.J.)
5. "McNabb...exasperated the injury attempting to chase down
Dallas Cowboys safety Roy Williams." (Trenton, N.J.)
6. "Boxer Pups AKC, 1M, 1F, Bread for Health and
Temperament." (e-mail)
7. "[Paris Hilton] was probably going through cocaine
withdrawls." Is she from the South? (Sunnyvale, Calif.)
8. "Our lunch menu [includes] a variety of hot entrees and
tempting deserts." Presumably also hot. (Upper Saint Clair,
Pa.)
9. "Vincent was a brawny Swiss ex-patriot." (San Jose,
Calif.)
10. "...those who acquaint shopping with charity."
(Simsbury, Conn.)
----
Corrections: 1. consciousness 2. throes 3. maternal 4. medals
5. exacerbated 6. bred 7. withdrawals 8. desserts 9. expatriate
10. equate
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
Mary was married to a something of a chauvinist. They both
worked full time, but he never did anything around the house
and certainly....not any housework. That, he declared, was
'woman's work.'
One evening Mary arrived home from work to find the children
bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in
the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table,
complete with flowers. She was astonished, and she immediately
wanted to know what was going on.
It turned out that her husband Charley had read a magazine
article that suggested working wives would be more
romantically inclined if they weren't so tired from having
to do all the housework in addition to holding down a full-
time job. The next day, she couldn't wait to tell her friends
in the office. "How did it work out?" they asked.
"Well, it was a great dinner," Mary said. "Charley even
cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the
laundry and put everything away."
"But what about afterward?" her friends wanted to know.
"Oh, that part didn't work out," Mary said. "Charley was too
tired."
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