Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Good morning crew,
Well, it was quite a weekend. On Saturday Old Mason invited
our high school buddy Billy and his family over to his house
for an afternoon of grilling and wholesome family fun (along
with a couple cases of beer).
Billy and his wife are the proud parents of four (count 'em)
little girls and when they get riled up it can get exhausting.
And nothing gets little girls riled up like Wii tennis. We
probably played that for two solid hours...and I lost almost
every single game. The only one I could beat was the four year
old and then she just started crying...which made me feel bad.
So nobody was a winner there.
The highlight of the day (other than the delicious meal) came
later that evening after we retired to the yard to build a
little fire and relax with a couple night caps. I tried to
get the attention of Mason, who was sitting next to me, by
poking him in the leg. Unfortunately I was holding a cigar in
my hand. When the lit end made contact with poor old Mason's
bare leg he made a credible attempt to leap straight up out
of his chair. I won't tell you what he called me. It's going
to be a while before he forgives me for that one.
Sunday I made a pilgrimage to "Fall Fest" in Frankfort, Il
with a small group of people, but I'll fill you in on those
details Thursday. For now let's get on with the jokes.
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters
from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in
between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at
the bottom of the page!
***
The healthiest thing you can do for your body. Clean veggies
quickly, easily and safely and eat right!
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14803/c/186/a/505
***
"Beaches in Italy are now training dogs to become lifeguards.
That should work as long as someone throws a tennis ball at
you while you're drowning." -Jimmy Fallon
***
"A newspaper is a thing that people used to read. It's like
a website, but all the information is from yesterday."
-Craig Ferguson
***
"A new version of the Bible is being published that is
gender-neutral. For instance, the books of 'Mark, Luke,
and John' are now the books of 'Kris, Jean, and Terry.'"
--Conan O'Brien
YOUR VIDEO SNACK BAR
Top Viewed Videos...
1. Myths about alcohol you may not know
http://c.gophercentral.com/eCwV
2. Who Let The Dogs Out?
http://c.gophercentral.com/zHO7
3. Amos N´ Andy - In the IRS Office
http://c.gophercentral.com/B6sD
4. Day of the Kamikaze
http://c.gophercentral.com/UD5H
5. Celebrities: Before and After Make-Up
http://c.gophercentral.com/H3LT
6. Nazi Atrocities
http://c.gophercentral.com/tEWM
Although he always ordered just ham and eggs everyday, one
customer at the diner always studied the menu carefully each
day before ordering.
One day, his regular waitress decided to see if he could be
made to order anything else. Before giving him the menu she
marked out the ham and eggs entry.
Once the customer had looked over the menu for a few minutes,
the waitress approached him and asked, "Sir, did you notice
that I scratched something you like?"
Without looking up from the menu, he quickly replied, "Well,
would you mind washing your hands before you bring me my ham
and eggs?"
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
Back in the days of the Roman Empire, the famous Emperor Nero
instituted a new game. The players would take those little
disks you set your glass on in order to protect the furniture,
and see who could get the most distance rolling them across
the floor.
They were the first roller coasters. Back in those days, the
disks were made of iron, and they would bet on whose disk
would roll the farthest.
They called them ferrous wheels.
____________________________________________________________
WHAT DID THE BUDDHIST SAY TO THE HOTDOG VENDOR?
Want to know the answer to this important question? Then you
need to get a copy of THE BEST OF CLEAN LAFFS! Order Joe's
laff diary for the new, reduced DEAL price of * $1.51 * plus
postage and handling.
Check it out: http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/2421/c/120/a/505
************************************************************