Wednesday, April 13, 2016
Good morning crew,
Uh oh, it's Wednesday the thirteenth. You know what that means? Absolutely nothing.
But just to be safe I think I'm going to skip the gym and go home early. No reason to tempt fate, right?
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.com
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"I read that hoarding is getting worse in the U.S. and affects over 15 million Americans. Of course it might be higher now, 'cuz I read that in a newspaper I've been saving since 2003." -Jimmy Fallon
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"A new exhibit shows eight of the alternate endings Ernest Hemingway considered using for his classic novel 'A Farewell to Arms.' In my opinion the worst is the one that ends with 'see ya later, arms!'" -Conan O'Brien
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"New Jersey is considering a bill that would outlaw texting while walking, and make it punishable by 15 days in jail. And according to a new poll, people kept running into it." -Seth Meyers
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During his physical, a doctor asked his patient about his daily activity level.
The man said, "Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake, marched up and down several hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand and took four leaks behind big trees."
Impressed by the story, the doctor said, "You must be one hell of an outdoors man!"
"Outdoorsman nothing," replied the man, "I'm just a lousy golfer."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A young Jewish lad entered Notre Dame to play football. At the end of the season, he returned home. As luck would have it, he ran into his Rabbi at the airport.
The rabbi asked, "Are they trying to convert you over there at South Bend?"
The youngster said, "Of course not, Father!"