Friday, November 20, 2015

Good morning crew,

As it turns out, my poor mother-in-law has to work on Thanksgiving day, so they are having their Thanksgiving this weekend and they invited the wife and I over to celebrate with them.

It should be fun, but I'll have to listen to my father-in-law gloat about all the house problems we've had this year.

When we bought the house I remember him rubbing his hands together in anticipation and saying, "Just you wait! You're gonna find out what owning a house is all about."

But I don't think even he anticipated the litany of problems we've had so far.

Maybe I won't tell him about the repair to the furnace I just had done. No reason to add fuel to the fire.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"During the debate last night, Marco Rubio said, 'We need more welders and less philosophers.' Graduates with a philosophy degree were so furious, they got on their parents' computers and wrote angry emails." -Conan O'Brien

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"A new study came out this week, which showed that the cities of Portland and Seattle have the highest percentage of single women over 40 living with cats. It goes without saying that they also lead the nation in frozen yogurt shops, Zumba classes, and crying." -James Corden

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"After one of Google's self-driving cars was pulled over this weekend, the company released a statement touting that the cars have the human equivalent of 90 years behind the wheel. Which also explains why the left blinker was on for 17 miles." -Seth Meyers

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A group of junior-level executives were participating in a management training program. The seminar leader pounded home his point about the need to make decisions and take action on these decisions.

"For instance," he said, "if you had five frogs on a log and three of them decided to jump, how many frogs would you have left on the log?"

The answers from the group were unanimous: "Two."

"Wrong," replied the speaker, "there would still be five because there is a difference between deciding to jump and jumping."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Now that the metric system is in wide use all over the world, we can see why American have not adopted it:

A miss is as good as 1.6 kilometers.
Put your best .3 of a meter forward.
Spare the 5.03 meters and spoil the child.
Twenty-eight grams of prevention is worth 453 grams of cure.
Give a man 2.5 centimeters and he'll take 1.6 kilometers.
Peter Piper picked 8.8 liters of pickled peppers.