Monday, December 26, 2011

Good morning crew,

Welcome back, folks. Everybody enjoy their long weekend (or maybe you get today off instead of last Friday)? Don't worry, this is just a little breather before the next big plunge into the New Year's weekend. That's when the real fun starts because there is no gift buying or exchanging pressure. Just partying.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A week has no basis in nature, as do days, months and years. So birds don't understand weeks or weekdays. They do know enough to come back to the sidewalk cafe every day for crumbs. But suppose the cafe is in the business district and closed on weekends? What do the birds think of that? I'll bet they're really glad when Monday rolls around. Unlike the rest of us." --George Carlin

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"Why is New Jersey called the Garden State? Cause it's too hard to fit 'Oil and Petro-Refinery State' on a license plate." --Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality

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"Someone has said that there are only two kinds of people in the world---- There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning." --Unknown

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Even with a thousand games, dolls and crafts to choose from, my customer at the toy store still couldn't find a thing for her grandson.

"Maybe a video or something educational?" I asked.

"No, that's not it," she said.

We wandered the aisles until something caught her eye: a laser gun with flashing lights and 15 different high-pitched sounds.

"This is perfect," she said, beaming. "My daughter-in-law will hate it."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
After I prosecuted a man for killing a bird out of season with his slingshot, the court clerk suggested setting up a date for him to return with both the money for the fine and proof of community service.

"That way," she said innocently, "you can kill two birds with one stone."