Monday, August 14, 2017

Good morning crew,

Following is a selection of posters that are parodies of the Motivation posters that are so popular in offices. Quotes with very appropriate and inspiring pictures...


Incompetence:

"When you earnestly believe you can make up for a lack of skill by doubling your effort, there's no end to what you can't do."

Arrogance:

"The Best Leaders Inspire by Example. When that's not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well too."

Fear:

"Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at Sea."

Sacrifice:

"Your role may be thankless, but if you are willing to give it your all, you just might bring success to those who out-last you."

and my favorite right now...

Irresponsibility:

"No Single Raindrop believes it is to Blame for the Flood."

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"According to a new study, people who live near trees are richer, smarter, and healthier - and people who live in trees make more cookies." -Seth Meyers

***
"Wal-Mart is testing out an app that would allow shoppers to skip the checkout line. Currently that service is known as shoplifting." -Conan O'Brien

***
"Brace yourself, because Kraft has announced that they've gone natural. I first assumed that natural meant they were doing their products in the buff. But they mean they have removed all artificial preservatives, flavors, and dyes from their classic Mac and Cheese recipe. I don't get it. I was not aware, first of all, that a packet of orange dust was a technically a recipe." -Stephen Colbert

***
The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't get better grades, somebody is going to get a spanking."




*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Signs of the times

SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE:
"We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you."

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

On a Septic Tank Truck:
"Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"

At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."