Monday, March 3, 2014

Good morning crew,

So the wine-tasting we attended Saturday night was a private affair, and by that I mean it wasn't some big, corporate winery or a liquor warehouse selling their products. It was a local guy and his dad who make all of their wine in their basement.

Considering that it was a two-man home business they put out a pretty impressive spread. I was half expecting a few varieties of wine bottled in recycled mayonnaise jars, but they had a wide selection of both reds and whites from dry to sweet, and even some unusual types like ice wine, and all of the wines were in actual wine bottles with artfully designed, professional-looking labels and everything.

The drawback of being homemade wine is that there was a lot of inconsistency in the quality. However, they had so many wines that I was still able to find a half dozen I liked enough to buy.

They probably do quite a good bit of business that way. There were 30 or 40 people at the party and if even half them bought five or six bottles like I did they probably had a thousand dollar night.

The wife was a little scandalized that I bought six bottles, but I told her that if the wine doesn't taste as good when we're sober as it did Saturday night, we can always just give them away as gifts.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A spelling bee in Missouri was forced to shut down because it ran out of words for the final two contestants to spell. The organizers said, 'You know, someone ought to just publish a big book with all the words in it.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"Women spend an average of 335 hours a year getting ready, according to some very passive-aggressive researchers who are outside waiting in the car." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"A substitute teacher in Oklahoma was arrested after she tried to teach while drunk. She had everybody fooled, but then she gave herself away by carrying her heels." -Seth Meyers

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"YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY..."

"Everything Comes In Threes" - Not true. In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes, when three "ones" come in a row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the way, in medieval times, it was widely believed that everything came in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern.

"You Can't Take It With You (when you die)" - Well..., that depends on what it is. If it's your dark blue suit, you can certainly take it with you. In fact, not only can you take it with you, you can probably put some things in your pockets.

"You Learn Something New Every Day" - Actually, you learn something old every day. Just because you've just learned it, doesn't mean it's new. Other people already knew it, Columbus is a good example of this.

"You Get What You Pay For" - Clearly this is not true. Have you been shopping recently? Only a very naive person would believe that you get what you pay for. In point of fact, if you check your purchases carefully, you'll find that you get whatever they feel like giving you. And if corporations get any more powerful, you soon might not even get that.

"NICE GUYS FINISH LAST" - Not true. Studies have shown that, on average, nice guys finish third in a field of six. Actually, short guys finish last. By the way, in medieval times, it was widely believed that nice guys finished twenty-sixth. You can see how limited those people were.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Two lawyers are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in.

While one of the robbers takes the money from the tellers, the other lines the customers, including the lawyers, up against a wall, and proceeds to take their wallets, watches, etc.

While this is going on lawyer number one jams something in lawyer number two's hand. Without looking down, lawyer number two whispers, "What is this?"

To which the first lawyer replies, "It's that $50 I owe you."