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Friday, September 30, 2016

Good morning crew,

[After writing about the little mishaps that can happen during taekwondo practice, I dug through some old issues of Clean Laffs and found this issue from 2006 which describes the incident which lead to my first date with my wife.]

I had an interesting weekend. On Saturday morning I got kicked in the face by a Tae kwon do black belt during a free sparring class. And to add insult to injury she is a chick. Imagine telling that story to your friends.

"Hey! How did you get that fat lip?"

"Uuuh...I got kicked in the face by a girl."

She got hers, though, because I made her feel really bad when I started crying, the big bully.

[As a side note; I must have cleaned that story up for publication, because as I remember it, she kicked me lower than the face. Much lower.]

Laugh it up,


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"Sometimes I sit for hours weighing the fine distinctions among the words spunk, pluck, nerve, chutzpah, gall and moxie." --George Carlin


A Photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage. The Photon replies, "No I'm traveling light."


"I have a list I made when I was twelve of things I wanted to do before I die. embarrassing. Number One: Touch a boobie." --Drew Carey


A homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house. "You did a great job." he said and handed the man a check. "Also, as a bonus, here's an extra $100 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie."

Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter. "What's the matter," asked the homeowner, "did you forget something?"

"Nope." replied the painter. "I'm just here to take your missus out to dinner and a movie like you asked."

*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad.

His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl?"

The logician replies: "Yes!"

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