Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Good morning crew,

Last year, at one of our local restaurants, the wife discovered a concoction called garlic soup and fell in love with it. Considering her intolerance for pungent or powerfully flavored foods this was something of a surprise to me, but I tried it and it was very good. Surprisingly subtle for something with garlic as the primary ingredient.

She was crestfallen when we went back recently and found that they had discontinued the soup, so I suggested she look up some recipes and experiment with making it herself.

So really, it was my fault. Sunday afternoon she went shopping and by three o'clock she was busy smashing up four whole bulbs of garlic which found their way into a two-and-a-half gallon pot. Soon the entire apartment was saturated with the smell of frying garlic.

Not that frying garlic is a bad aroma...in a restaurant...but when you get out of the shower in the morning and your bath towel reeks of garlic it is a different story.

She ended up with maybe three-quarters of a gallon and I have to admit it turned out to be pretty good. I had two bowls myself. But I didn't realize how powerful the stuff is until I noticed it following me around everywhere.

I even noticed the little kids in class last night giving me an unusually respectful distance, although I don't know if that was because my taekwondo uniform smelled that garlicky or if it was still coming out of my pores.

At least I will be safe from vampires for the next couple days.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or contributing anything to society, my reaction is: 'How can I get in on that?'" --Dave Barry

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"My mom is very possessive. She calls me up and says things like, 'You weren't home last night. Is something gong on?' I say, 'Yeah Mom, I'm cheating on you with another mother.'" --Heidi Joyce

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"I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes if see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose." --Rita Rudner

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Vacationing in Kentucky, a friend and I spent the night at a small motel outside of Louisville. In the morning, I asked the woman at the desk for directions to Churchill Downs. Not able to tell us, she called her husband from the back room.

"Churchill Downs?" he asked. "That's the race-track, isn't it?" We nodded. He hesitated and then said, "I'm pretty sure it's somewhere south of the university. I'm sorry, but I don't think I can be much help."

At that point his wife left the room. The husband looked over his shoulder to make sure she had disappeared. Then he winked at us, leaned over the counter and whispered, "Take Third Street through town, go past the university and turn right on Central Avenue. After that, just look for the twin spires. You can't miss 'em!"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
You know how in first grade they used fruits to explain stuff like "one banana plus two bananas make three bananas"? Here's a list of high school math courses based on bananas:


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Algebra I - A
You have a negative banana (possibly made of antimatter). Add two bananas to it and you get one banana.

Algebra I - B
You have a banana. Factor it, or solve for apples using the quadratic formula.

Geometry
Prove: Bananas are not vegetables. Given: Bananas are fruits.

Algebra II
You have an imaginary banana. Square it, and you get one of those weird anti-matter bananas. The student learns that their dreams will become reality if they only raise them to the fourth power.

Pre-Calculus
What is the cosecant of Pi over 2 bananas in a unit apple?

Calculus AB
The student learns to find the slope of a banana.

Calculus BC
The student learns to find the slope of a banana and also to find the area under the banana.