Monday, August 6, 2012

Good morning crew,

I made a new friend this weekend. Al the horse. At my goddaughter's birthday party, my old friend Billy introduced us to his daughter's newest pets, a pair of horses. Hey, it's rural Indiana. Everybody has some horses. I think it's a law out there.

Anyway, there was a group of four of us, and Al the horse walked straight up to me and began sniffing me from head to toe. This is a big animal. He then began licking my toes.

That is not a joke, either. I was wearing flip flops and maybe they smelled like clover. It was a very odd sensation. Whatever the reason, he did not want to leave my side. As Billy showed us around the barn and other out buildings, Al stayed right at my shoulder, giving me the occasional nudge with his nose which just about knocked me over. Like I said, this is a big animal.

When we finally left the pasture Al stood at the fence and watched me for a good ten minutes. It was kind of uncomfortable. Every time I looked over my shoulder, there was Al with his head hanging over the fence, staring at me.

Being a city boy I have never spent much time around horses. Maybe I have a latent talent as a horse whisperer that just never had an opportunity to come out.

I was trying to guess what Al was thinking, but all I could come up with was, "Mmmm, you smell like beer and alfalfa."

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Looking for money-savings tips, information helpful to women, and some good-natured fun? If so, take a moment or two and check out the Mommy Blogroll to the right and visit some of the best "Mommy Blogs" online.

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"A couple got married in a Starbucks. Isn't that nice? What, Dunkin' Donuts not good enough?" -Dave Letterman

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"Today is International Ninja Day, when people are encouraged to carry toy weapons and wear black masks. And as I found out the hard way, my bank wasn't celebrating it." -Jimmy Fallon

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"A Swedish firm has designed an efficient city featuring buildings on wheels that can be moved in or out of town as desired. This ingenious city of the future is known as a trailer park." -Conan O'Brien

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The difference between "Men" and "Guys"

Men: know what they want to be doing five years down the road.
Guys: are not sure what they want to be doing later tonight.

Men: read Crichton, watch Rather, play golf.
Guys: read King, watch Seinfeld, play poker.

Men: wear ties with stripes, shirts with buttons, and shoes with laces.
Guys: wear high school T-shirts they've actually owned since high school.

Men: balance their checkbooks.
Guys: balance their loans so that they never hit up the same buddy twice in a row.

Men: claim to be feminist but still insist on opening doors, driving, and paying for dinner.
Guys: claim to be feminists so they can let YOU open doors, drive, and pay for dinner.

Men: are afraid of becoming their fathers.
Guys: are afraid of becoming men.

Men: put you on the phone when their mothers call.
Guys: pretend you're not there when their moms call.

Men: start their own businesses.
Guys: quit their jobs.

Men: are experts on women's erogenous zones.
Guys: are experts on their own erogenous zone.

Men: order wine based on more than the price.
Guys: bring their own beer.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
When my coworker Donsa was promoted, we decided to celebrate. Her boss called the baker and ordered a cake.

"Two questions," said the baker. "Is Donsa a man or a woman? And what do you want the cake to say?"

"The cake should read 'Congratulations'" the boss said. "Oh, and Donsa's a woman." The next day, the office celebrated with a cake that read "Congratulations--Donsa's a woman."