Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Good morning crew,

I have made my first serious purchase as a homeowner. I bought a power drill. A DeWalt. I wish I had bought it two weeks ago, because there have already been about five jobs I could have used it for. But now that I have it I feel much more prepared.

We have been so busy moving in that we haven't given much thought to decorating, but lately the wife has been eyeing some prime real estate on the walls for pictures and other paraphernalia, and I am looking forward to doing my part by drilling the appropriate holes.

Of course, for that I will need a stud-finder.

I have a nagging feeling that homeownership is going to turn into the purchase of one "necessity" after another until eventually I have a house and garage packed full of stuff. At which point I will probably never need any of it again.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A new study claims half of all married women have a back-up husband in mind. Here's what they're not telling us. Half of all husbands also have a back-up husband in mind." -Craig Ferguson

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"In a recent statement, Vladimir Putin said that Ukraine 'has always been and would continue to be the closest sister nation to Russia.' And sometimes sisters fight when one sister steals the other sister's boyfriend; Crimea." -Seth Meyers

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"Secret Service Director Julia Pierson has resigned, and they're doing everything they can to tighten security at the White House. Today, on the roof of the White House, they added one of those fake owls." -Dave Letterman

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I have my changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, "Meatloaf" or "Pot Roast" or "Steak and Vegetables or "Chicken and Dumplings" or "Beef Pot Pie."

However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes.

If you look in my freezer now you'll see a whole new set of labels. You'll find dinners with neat little tags that say: "Whatever," "Anything," "I Don't Know," "I Don't Care," "Something Good," or "Food." My frustration is now reduced because no matter what my husband replies when I ask him what he wants for dinner, I know that it is there waiting.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her now ex-husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper.

"Honey," his wife said, while reading the newspaper, "it looks like the government is going to cut the military forces. They are going to eliminate six over-aged destroyers."

To which the husband replies, "Sorry to hear that, dear. I'm sure you'll miss your mother when she's gone."