Thursday, December 13, 2012

Good morning crew,

The wife is dragging me to a wedding tomorrow. Well, I shouldn't say, "dragging." Weddings, or at least wedding receptions, are my favorite kind of party. The problem is that the wedding is at five in the afternoon which means I have to be up at 5:30 tomorrow morning so I can leave work early enough to make it.

And that is really going to cut into the time I can spend at the bar tonight!

I'll be looking at this whole process with different eyes now that I have gone through it myself. I think I might even enjoy it a little more. However I will NOT be over-indulging and then making inappropriate comments to the bride because now I know how that feels.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. In case you missed my subtle recommendation in yesterday's special issue about Texting Gloves, they are a DEAL special. You can get the iGlove Texting Gloves for four bucks. You won't have to freeze your fingers off if you ever want to use your touch screen out in the cold. Click the link to watch the vid.

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"Christmas is less than two weeks away. I do most of my shopping online. But I hire someone to honk and scream obscenities at me while I'm doing it so I get the whole holiday shopping experience." -Jimmy Kimmel

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"A close friend of mine said his doctor gave him less than two weeks to live. But it turns out his doctor's a Mayan. He says that to everybody." -Jay Leno

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"This year over 1,500 soldiers were kicked out of the armed forces for being overweight. And half of our fighter pilots are being charged for two seats." -Conan O'Brien

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A few years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand to start the car. I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at least 20mph for it to start.

She said fine, hopped into her car and drove off.

I sat there fuming wondering what she could be doing.

A minute passed by and when I saw her in the rear-view mirror coming at me at about 30 mph, I realized that I should have been a bit clearer with my directions...


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
While attending an open house, my wife was taken with the home's modern features, especially the central vacuum system installed within the walls. But she had a practical question: "What do you do when all the walls fill up?"