Thursday, February 10, 2011
Good morning crew,
Money, money, money; it seems like that's all I have been
thinking about lately. I want to sell the condo and buy a
house sometime this spring or summer, and to be able to
afford it I have desperately been trying to pay off the
truck. So for the last six months or so I have been on a
strict money diet.
Only one date night a week, 8-year-old scotch instead of 12
and only ten dollars a week on instant lottery tickets in-
stead of twenty.
Hey, it's a recession.
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters
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"Police in North Carolina are looking for a pregnant woman
who attempted to rob a bank at gunpoint. FBI sketch artists
have just released a sonogram. Be careful everyone, she is
armed and lactating." -Jimmy Fallon
***
"According to Newsweek, they've now come out with the carbon
diet. An environmentally friendly diet that reduces green-
house gases. Let me tell you something. If your diet is so
bad that you are causing global warming... just stay out of
Taco Bell." -Jay Leno
***
"People in L.A. don't eat cereal, because they don't like
sugar because it's bad for you. It's OK to inject botulism
into your face, but no sugar!" -Craig Ferguson
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Even with a thousand games, dolls and crafts to choose from,
my customer at the toy store still couldn't find a thing for
her grandson.
"Maybe a video or something educational?" I asked.
"No, that's not it," she said.
We wandered the aisles until something caught her eye: a
laser gun with flashing lights and 15 different high-pitched
sounds.
"This is perfect," she said, beaming. "My daughter-in-law
will hate it."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
After I prosecuted a man for killing a bird out of season
with his slingshot, the court clerk suggested setting up a
date for him to return with both the money for the fine and
proof of community service.
"That way," she said innocently, "you can kill two birds
with one stone."
____________________________________________________________
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