Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Good morning crew,

You know, I have heard all sorts of stories about how relationships are tested when couples try to decorate together. Conflicts of egos, emotional escalations, even outright fights. The wife and I have never experienced any of that.

In fact, the decorating we did last weekend went off without a single hitch. It's all about open mindedness, discussion and compromise. That and not really caring one way or another.

Where we have run into a bit of conflict is my refusal to turn any of the decorations on.

When the wife came home last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV and the outside lights were off, the tree lights were off and the blinds were closed.

"Why did we go through the effort of decorating the house if you never turn any of the lights on?" she asked me.

"I can't enjoy most of the decorations unless I'm standing outside anyway," I told her. "Plus, the tree distracts from the TV."

"Too bad," she said while flipping switches and plugging in plugs. "Enjoying the holidays means putting up with a few inconveniences."

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A new study has found that being good-looking can hurt a man's career because the people in charge of hiring see attractive men as a threat. So if you're a man who was recently hired for a new job, congratulations. You're hideous." -James Corden

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"The Paris climate agreement calls for countries to try and keep the temperature of the planet from rising more than 2 degrees. Or in other words, they have the same attitude about the Earth's temperature that your dad has about the thermostat: 'Who turned this up?'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"They're predicting the new 'Star Wars' film could gross more than $2 billion. The United States just promised $800 million as part of the Paris agreement to fight climate change, which means we're spending more than twice as much to see 'Star Wars' as we are to save the actual world." -Jimmy Kimmel

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In my English-as-a-second-language class, I explained the difference between a watch and a clock. I told the students that when it was a large timepiece on a wall and not attached to your body, it was called a clock. When it was worn on your body, it was called a watch.

A few days later we had a power outage, and our classroom clocks had not been reset. I asked Luis, who was wearing a wristwatch, for the time. Luis looked at his wrist, and then confidently announced, "It is exactly ten o'watch."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
At first sight we knew it was the perfect Christmas tree. Tall and full, with no bare spots. Even our grown children were impressed.

"Wow," said my son, "if you didn't know it was real, it could easily pass as artificial."