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Thursday, August 21, 2014Good morning crew,
I thought a dedicated Clean Laffs reader named Jane had a particularly poignant question when she asked,
"Q: What does an owl in the daytime have in common with the 16th president of the United States?
A: They're both A'blinkin'.
OMG! This one has to be the first one that really DID make me roll my eyes! Who comes up with this stuff anyway?" Jane, It's a complicated procedure. First, we select several volunteers and strap them into specially designed "humor appreciation chairs" located in a sound-proof booth.
We then pipe the jokes into the room via a remote speaker system and select the material for "Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes" based on how violently they react.
If you would like to be a volunteer please let me know.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.comP.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click
GopherArchives***"In a recent survey, 86 percent of college fraternity members admitted that they've had at least five drinks in a row. The other 14 percent were out cold." --Conan O'Brien
***"An Oregon man called Portland police Monday to report that traffic was being held up by a chicken attempting to cross a road. Then on Tuesday he called back to report a priest and a rabbi walking into a bar." -Seth Meyers
***"Mr. T reported for jury duty in Chicago last week, but ultimately was not picked for the trial. I guess prosecutors thought he'd show too much pity." -Jimmy Fallon
***On my 40th birthday I waltzed out of my bedroom dressed in an old outfit I dug out of the back of the closet.
"I wore this on my 30th birthday! I guess that means my wardrobe is ten years old," I said to my husband, hoping he'd take the hint and buy me some clothes as a present.
"Or," he offered instead, "it means when you were 30 you had the body of a 40-year-old."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*It was very windy, and this particular little girl was only six years old and small for her age. When her mother asked her to clean off the front sidewalk, the wind nearly blew her away. She picked up the broom countless times, but each time, the wind got the best of her and knocked her over.
Her mother came out a few minutes later to see how she was doing and found her stuffing rocks in her pocket. "I thought you were cleaning off the sidewalk," her mother said. "What in the world are you doing?"
The little girl replied: "Now? I weigh me down to sweep."