Monday, March 7, 2016

Good morning crew,

They say that on St. Patrick's Day everyone is Irish, but at any given Irish parade, like the one this weekend for example, it takes a little more. But usually 10 or 12 beers will do it.

That turned out to be a long day, especially for a Sunday. But the rest of the weekend was nice and boring. The wife was offered another pet sitting job and she just couldn't bring herself to turn down the money. So I got to spend most of the weekend by myself.

We made up for it on Sunday though, starting out around noon and going through early evening. And if you think that is a long day for a Sunday (and you would be right) imagine how that makes Monday feel.

I'll fill you in on a few details about that next time.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"The Defense Department is inviting hackers to test its cyber security in a new program called 'Hack the Pentagon.' Which will be followed by another new program called 'OK, Please Stop Hacking Us. It's Not Funny Anymore.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"Almost five years after Fukushima, a study found Japanese seafood is now 'mostly free' of radiation. The study also found that the seafood at Long John Silver's is 'mostly free' of fish." -Conan O'Brien

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"According to a recent survey, 15 percent of Americans have admitted to cooking in the nude. Unfortunately, most of them work at Chipotle." -Seth Meyers

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Heavy snow had buried my van in our driveway. My husband, Scott, dug around the wheels, rocked the van back and forth and finally pushed me free. I was on the road when I heard an odd noise. I got on my cell and called home. "Thank God you answered," I said when Scott picked up. "There's this alarming sound coming under the van. For a minute I thought I was dragging you down the highway."

"And you didn't stop?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A man received the following text from his neighbor: I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and shot his wife.

A few moments later, a second text came in: Damn autocorrect. I meant "WIFI", not "wife".