Monday, January 9, 2012

Good morning crew,

I'm not too much of a church-goer, preferring to read my Bible at my leisure, but on occasion I will go, like I did this weekend past, and it is at times like that when I realize what I am missing out on...like all of the free stuff!

I'm not sure when churches started doing this, but for an hour of my time and a small donation I got a free Bible (a New International Version), a free calendar, another free book entitled "Finding the Real Jesus" and a free cup of coffee.

It was like a spiritual happy hour.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A recent study found that cheese is healthier to eat than butter. In response, Americans were like, 'Just to be safe, I better eat both.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"Near Antarctica, scientists just discovered some new undersea creatures. I believe this deep sea discovery is yet more evidence of the wonderful bio-diversity in our oceans that we have to clear out if we're going to get at that tasty crude oil." -Craig Ferguson

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"According to new poll done by 60 minutes 2 percent of voters believe that Mitt Romney's real first name is Mittens." -Jimmy Kimmel

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Two old gambling friends meeting on the street for the first time in several weeks and one asked the other, "Joe, where have you been? Haven't seen you around for weeks."

"I've been to South Africa with my son. While I was there, I taught some of them to play poker."

"Africa, huh? Zulus?"

"Nah, I beat 'em 9 times out of ten."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
As the high school teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read, "Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset."

She wrote at the bottom of the page, "You obviously have problems with homonyms. A burrow is a hole in the ground. A burro is an ass. At your age it's time to learn the difference."