Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Good morning crew,

Last night I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that I was recruited to perform with the Beatles because one of their members was absent or sick or something.

So I was auditioned and I sat in front of somebody (I don't know who) and sang a Beatles song while playing a guitar.

The rest of the dream was me going through a series of interviews, but no matter who I talked to or what I was asked, I kept playing the guitar and singing.

"So, do you have any experience performing live?"

Whereupon I would launch into a rendition of Run For Your Life.

The oddest part about this dream is that I have no musical talent whatsoever. I can barely carry a tune, my pitch is terrible and I can't even play guitar on Rock Band.

So the real question is; what the hell is this dream supposed to mean? Maybe I have unfulfilled exhibitionistic tendencies.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot." -Douglas Adams

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"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." -William Dement

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"I am accustomed to sleep and in my dreams to imagine the same things that lunatics imagine when awake." -Rene Descartes

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While doing a crossword puzzle, I asked for my husband's help.

"The word is eight letters long and starts with 'm', and the clue is 'tiresome sameness.'"

"Monogamy," he answered.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
English professors love to catch the errors students make in their term papers, and they love nothing better than to catch mixed metaphors. The "friends and survivors" of Calvin College English department collected this list of mixed metaphors and posted them on their web site:

"He swept the rug under the carpet."
"She's burning the midnight oil at both ends."
"It was so cold last night I had to throw another blanket on the fire."
"It's time to step up to the plate and cut the mustard."
"She's robbing Peter to pay the piper."
"He's up a tree without a paddle."
"Beware my friend...you are skating on hot water."
"Keep your ear to the grindstone."
"Sometimes you've gotta stick your neck out on a limb."
"Some people sail through life on a bed of roses like a knife slicing through butter."