Monday, November 26, 2012

Good morning crew,

It was a nice, uneventful Thanksgiving, thankfully. I needed a little peace, quiet and relaxation. But it was short-lived, because I got the idea in my head to take the wife to the gun range over the weekend.

Pistol shooting is an expensive hobby, so I don't do it very often, but it is very exciting, and since she had never done it before I thought it would make for an interesting afternoon.

Before hand I went over all of the precautions she would need to exercise in order to handle herself and the pistols safely. I also went over some shooting basics. I wasn't expecting her to be a marksman, but knowing how to hold a pistol and understanding the physics behind what happens when one goes off all contribute to safe and successful shooting.

When all was said and done we were finally standing at the window with the target at 20 feet. She picked her piece up, assumed the stance just like we practiced and the seconds trickled away while she took careful aim. Finally, the thing went off and she handled it like a pro! She wasn't startled in the least. In fact, she didn't even change her posture. She was a picture of cool, collected concentration. Sort of like a cuter, sexier Jason Bourne.

But there was one small problem. I didn't see any holes in the target. I blinked a few times and squinted down range, but no, she hadn't hit it.

"Go ahead!" I screamed to be heard through her earphones, "Keep going!"

She emptied the magazine but didn't hit it once. But ammunition is cheap and she was having fun, and by the time she got through the first box of bullets she managed to nick the edge of the paper.

Sometimes it takes a little trial-and-error and by the time we finished she was hitting the paper pretty consistently. All we have to do now is get her grouping down from about two feet to four or five inches.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Cab drivers are now illegally overcharging you for made-up charges. I was in a cab today and I was charged $11 for shipping and handling." -David Letterman

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"A newspaper is a thing that people used to read. It's like a website, but all the information is from yesterday." -Craig Ferguson

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"Hey, I heard that 7-Eleven is now selling potato chips that taste like hot dogs. Seriously? I'm still waiting for 7-Eleven to sell hot dogs that taste like hot dogs." -Jimmy Fallon

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Before my son could start going on job interviews, he needed to dress the part. That, he decided, required a $500 suit.

"What!?" I answered, gagging at the price tag. "I've bought cars for $500!"

"That's why I want the $500 suit," he said. "So I don't have to drive $500 cars."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old friend John, "How come you aren't married?"

John: "I haven't found the right woman yet."

George: "So what are you looking for?"

John: "Oh she's got to be real pretty, a good cook and house keeper, she's got to know how to handle finances, have a nice and pleasant personality -- and money, she's got to have money, and a nice house wouldn't hurt either."

George: "A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU!"

John: "Oh, it's okay if she is crazy."