Friday, November 27, 2015

Good morning crew,

Like most of the rest of America I'm home today recovering from Thanksgiving. If everything goes according to plan I will not have to step foot out of the house or even put on pants until Sunday afternoon at the earliest.

I did think about going out for Black Friday. When I woke up to turn my alarm off this morning I thought, 'there are a lot of crazy people out there right now fighting angry, hung over crowds in near-freezing weather in order to shop. Boy am I glad I'm not one of them.'

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"I heard that AMC will broadcast a marathon of the entire 'Godfather' trilogy on Thanksgiving. So if you want to watch a dramatic family falling apart on Thanksgiving - now you've got TWO ways to do that." -Jimmy Fallon

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"A new study has found that specially trained pigeons can have up to an 85 percent accuracy rate of detecting breast cancer in humans. Which means that 15 percent of the time it's just a pigeon staring at your boobs." -Seth Meyers

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"There is a new website that allows parents to rent toys instead of buying them for Christmas. The website is perfect for parents who aren't sure that they love their child." -Conan O'Brien

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When my 15-year-old son, Pat, stepped up to the plate during a Colt League baseball game, the young announcer declared, "Now batting, the right fielder, number 12, Pathogen!"

After some confusion in the stands, the announcer came back on over the loudspeaker. "Sorry, that's PAT Hogan!"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
[This is an old, old one, but still one of my favorites...]

A fifth generation farmer has determined that his son will be the first in their family to go to college. So he and the wife save every penny for years and when the big day comes for junior to leave for school, the old man is the proudest he's ever been.

After the first semester junior comes home for Christmas break and the old man sits him down for a talk. "Well, boy, you been at school for three months now, I want you to tell me some of that fancy book learnin'."

So junior says, "My favorite class is math, pa. Just last week we learned a new formula...Pi r squared."

At hearing this the old man screws up his eyes and smacks his forehead, "Dog gone-it! I spent all that money on schooling and all you can tell me is Pi r squared? Why everybody knows pie are round...CORNBREAD are squared!"