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Clean Laffs - It's not easy being as good-looking as me.
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Monday, September 26, 2016
Good morning crew,
Since I figured I'm going to be broke (more broke than usual, anyway) after our little European adventure, I took the wife out to dinner last Saturday night while I still had a few kopecks to rub together.
Since we were doing something a little fancier than pizza and beer I wanted to look nice, but not over-dressed, so I decided on casual, black slacks and a white button down. While I was looking on the finished product in the mirror it struck me that I looked not so much like a metrosexual stud-about-town but more like a waiter.
So walking out to the living room where the wife was waiting I said, "Hey, do I look like George Clooney dressed like this or do I look like a waiter?"
Pausing to come up with what I'm sure she thought was a judicious answer, she said, "You look like George Clooney if he were a waiter."
Laugh it up,
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"A new study finds that if you're drunk around sober people, you'll think you're less drunk than if you're around other drunk people. And if you're drunk around sober people, chances are you've got a problem." -Jimmy Fallon
"A man is getting bar mitzvah'd at age 113. They're hoping the attendance is better than last year when he got circumcised." -Conan O'Brien
"This week a study was released by the World Health Organization showing that the United States is the third most depressing country in the world after India and China. When Americans heard the news they were like, 'Oh, we only got third?'" -James Corden
An elderly gentleman checked into a New York hotel. The clerk mentioned the phone service the establishment made available for calling guests who wished to rise at an early hour.
"No need for that, young man," snapped the old timer. "I always wake up at five A.M. sharp - without an alarm clock."
"Very good, sir," the clerk replied, then asked, "Would you mind calling me at six?"
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A customer at a coffee shop was clearly peeved by the text message he'd just received. "You ever have that ex-girlfriend who just won't go away?" he asked his friend.
"Yeah," came the reply. "My wife."
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