Monday, January 3, 2011
Good morning crew,
Well, we're back, folks. The entire office was off most of
last week...kind of like a mandatory vacation...but we're
back at it now.
It was fun having the time off. I got caught up on my
relaxing all the way back to October. Plus, I got caught
up on all my family visiting, too. I visited almost every-
body in a fifty-mile radius.
And now that they're sick and tired of me eating their food
and drinking their booze I probably won't get any more in-
vitations for another six months or so.
It's not a perfect system, but it works.
Laugh it up,
Joe
mailto:joe@gophercentral.com
P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters
from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in
between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at
the bottom of the page!
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"Health experts are now concerned that this bad economy may
be causing Americans to gain weight. They call it recession
pounds. You heard about this? You put on recession pounds
during economic hardship. So guys, if your wife or girl-
friend says, 'Do these pants make me look like we're in a
recession?' be careful what you say." --Jay Leno
***
"A new study found that good-looking people are more likely
to have daughters than sons. And ugly people are more likely
to have cats." -Jimmy Fallon
***
"This week a man in Florida was arrested for hitting the
manager of a Taco Bell in the face with a bag full of
Tacos. Afterwards, the Taco Bell manager said, 'It's weird,
my tacos usually don't attack me until I'm in the bathroom.'"
-Conan O'Brien
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Pauly walks into a bar and says "Bartender, one round for
everyone, on me!" The bartender says, "Well, Pauly, seems
you're in a really good mood tonight, eh?"
Pauly says, "Oh, you can bet on it! I just got hired by the
city to go around and remove all the money from parking
meters. I start on Monday!"
The bartender congratulates the man and proceeds to pour the
round.
Monday evening arrives. Pauly comes back into the bar and
says "Bartender, TWO rounds for everyone, on me!"
The bartender says, "Well now! If you're so happy just over
having this new job, I can just imagine how happy you'll be
when you get your paycheck!"
Pauly looks at the bartender with a confused look on his
face, pulls out quite a handful of quarters from his pocket,
and says "You mean they'll PAY me on top of it?"
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*
An elderly gentleman was reading his recovery-room record
at the hospital where I work. He looked quite concerned at
one notation.
"I know I was in a bit of a muddle, but I didn't realize
I was that bad," he said to me apologetically. "I hope I
didn't offend anyone."
He was greatly relieved when I explained the acronym in
question meant "Short Of Breath" and not what he thought.
____________________________________________________________
WHAT DID THE BUDDHIST SAY TO THE HOTDOG VENDOR?
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