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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Good morning crew,

You know the old saying, "You've seen one wedding, you've
seen them all?" Well, that held mostly true for this one
as well, all except for the six hours of driving involved!
Not only did I have to drive three hours round trip for the
wedding, but I had to make the same trip the night before
for the rehearsal.

Personally, I really don't think wedding rehearsals are
necessary. I mean, who hasn't been to a wedding before?
You line up, let your bridesmaid hold your arm while you
walk down the aisle, split up at the end and try not to
yawn during the ceremony. Then you repeat the whole thing
in the opposite direction. Hardly rocket science.

Yet I had to blow 30 bucks in gas and about six hours to
go through the steps. I hope I don't sound resentful.

The wedding at least was fun. The ceremony was mercifully
short, the dinner was delicious and the bar was open. My
favorite combination. I even managed to avoid making a
complete fool out of myself...mostly. Although there are
a few incriminating pictures floating around out there
somewhere which I have to find and destroy.

The big surprise of the whole weekend came the morning
after the wedding when I started my truck. You know that
sound an engine makes when it just doesn't want to start?
My heart just sank to the bottom of my stomach. It
eventually turned over, but it didn't make it very far.

There I was in Killdeer, Illinois with a vehicle that kept
dying on me every time I came to a full stop. By pure luck
I found myself coasting past a dealership while I had the
old beast in neutral trying to turn her over again, so I
dragged the wheel over and turned in. They were able to
repair it and get me back on the road by the end of the
afternoon, but it wasn't cheap. Let's just say my credit
card company is very happy with me right now.

Laugh it up,

Joe

mailto:joe@gophercentral.com

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My quiet Saturday morning ended abruptly when my 12-year-old
son, Billy, and one of his friends burst through the door.

"Hey Dad, announced Billy, "have you met the new neighbors?"

"No."

"Come on Dad, you have to meet them."

"Some other time; I'm busy."

"Dad, you have to meet them now."

From the urgency in Billy's voice, I assumed the neighbors
were waiting outside. I set aside my project and went to the
front of the house. No one was there.

"Where are they?" I asked.

"Well, Dad," he explained, "we haven't met them yet either,
but our baseball is in their living room!"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes ---------------*

When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite
friendly with my study partner, a 54-year-old man, who had
returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed he
had once thought something more than friendship might be a
possibility. "So what changed your mind?" I asked him.

"I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 30-year age
difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He
looked at my chart and said, 'You're interested in someone
who's 84?'"
____________________________________________________________

WHAT DID THE BUDDHIST SAY TO THE HOTDOG VENDOR?

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