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Monday, September 1, 2014

Good morning crew,

Welcome to September, folks. I hope everyone is enjoying their long weekend...and you're nice relaxing summer, because it's over now. The holidays are coming up and that's when everybody starts to lose their minds. So get in whatever relaxing you can now.

I'll fill you in on the weekend later.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

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"It's Labor Day weekend. Labor Day, of course, is a holiday where people take three days off from being unemployed." -Dave Letterman

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"Not quite as good news for the pet supply chain PetSmart, which may soon be sold to a larger company. Or as they told their employees, 'Your jobs are going to a farm upstate.'" -Jimmy Fallon

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"In China, an animal trainer taught his monkeys Kung fu, and then they attacked him using his best kung fu moves. Luckily, they were no match for the parrot he'd taught to fire a gun." -Conan O'Brien

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When his auto mechanic came in for a operation, Dr. Grimley couldn't help but take the opportunity to turn the tables on him.

"Well Frank," said the doctor, "It's going to take at least five days for the parts to get in. As for the cost, there's no way to tell until we get in there and see exactly what the problem is..."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

The woman said to her beautician as she sat down for her appointment, "When you're finished with me, will my husband think I'm beautiful?"

"Maybe," replied beautician, "does he still drink a lot?"