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Friday, December 18, 2015
Good morning crew,
Another busy weekend coming up. I have to attend promotion testing at the taekwondo school tomorrow morning, and then the wife's parents are having an early holiday party at their house because my poor mother-in-law has to work on Christmas.
So once again I will have no time to myself. Kind of makes it a little hard to do any Christmas shopping when I never have any free time.
Ironically I have the Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday after Christmas off.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.com
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"There are only a few days left until Christmas. I tell you, it's really amazing how popular baby Jesus was able to become without his mother posting a single picture of him on Facebook." -Jimmy Kimmel
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"They're saying that this could be one of the warmest Christmases in 30 years. Last Christmas, Santa made a list of who's naughty or nice. This Christmas, Santa made a list of who has central air and who doesn't." -Jimmy Fallon
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"There's a new Internet start-up called Swanluv that will give you $10,000 to help pay for your wedding. However, if you get divorced, you must pay the money back, plus interest. I think this company is underestimating a couple's ability to stay in a terrible relationship. I once didn't break up with a woman for two years because she owned a washer/dryer combo." -James Corden
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A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. She's down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, "What rotten luck I've had today! What in the world should I do now?"
A man standing next to her suggests, "I don't know... why don't you play your age?"
He walks away. Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe she won! He rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her. The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?"
The operator replies, "I don't know. She put all her money on 29, and 36 came up. Then she just fainted!"
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires. She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible man alive.
No wait...sorry. I am thinking of scotch. It's scotch that does all that.