Friday, April 15, 2016
Good morning crew,
Happy Tax Day everybody. I hope you remembered to file, because your faithful civil servants have racked up a few hairs over $19 trillion in your name. That must have been one heck of a margarita machine for the Capitol Building.
But don't think that just because you paid your taxes today you're finished paying. This year Tax Freedom Day April 24.
That's not so bad. Working for four solid months to keep your senators and congress people in the lifestyle they are accustomed to is a small price to pay for all of the entertainment they provide us.
Laugh it up,
Joe
joe@gophercentral.com
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"According to a recent survey, 12 percent of Americans say that it's fine to cheat a little on your taxes. While the other 88 percent know not to talk to a guy with a clipboard asking them if they cheat on their taxes." -Jimmy Fallon
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"The IRS has introduced new technology allowing you to pay your taxes at a 7-Eleven. So just imagine: You can now declare your earnings from 2015 while eating a hot dog from 2005." -Conan O'Brien
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"The only fun thing about filing your tax return is getting a refund. About 80 percent of taxpayers get money back, which is a weird thing to be happy about. That means you've been overpaying all year long. It's like if someone broke into your house and the police recovered the stuff and brought it back and you said, 'Oh, presents.'" -Jimmy Kimmel
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As one of relatively few female airline pilots, I've often been mistaken for a flight attendant, ticket agent or even a snack-bar employee. Occasionally people will see me in uniform and ask if I'm a "real" pilot. Still others congratulate me for making it in a male-dominated field.
One day, I was in the restroom before a flight. I was at the sink, brushing my teeth, when a woman walked through the door and looked over at me. "My sister would be so proud of you!" she remarked. I figured her sister must be in the airline business, so I smiled and asked why.
Replied the woman, "She's a dentist."
*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
For the first few months of her co-op job for the state of Georgia, my sister had nothing to do, so she surfed the Web or did crossword puzzles. One day she expressed her boredom to a co-worker.
"I know," she complained. "Everyone thinks state workers have it easy. But there's only so much you can pretend you're doing."