Thursday, November 3, 2011

Good morning crew,

Last year I was able to finish the first Batman game in about a month. This year, with my new schedule, it looks like the new game will take me about five months to complete. I just don't have any free time anymore.

Last night I got home around 7:30, did a bit of laundry, fixed myself a bite to eat, cleaned up and by 10:30 I finally sat down, turned on the game and promptly fell asleep on the couch.

Heck, I only see the girlfriend about once a week.

But the real mystery is; I have two jobs now, and because of my lack of free time I go out a lot less, so how is it I still don't have any money?

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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***
"In Michigan, a man was too drunk to drive, so he had his 9-year-old daughter drive their van for him. Yeah. As he was being arrested, he told the girl, 'I'm going to need a lawyer. Go get your little brother.'" -Conan O'Brien

***
"Plans are under way in England to build a laser they say is powerful enough to tear apart the fabric of space. Well, what could go wrong there?" -Jay Leno

***
"The world was supposed to end Friday. I don't think it did. This is reported to be the 12th time Camping has predicted the end of the world, the first time being in 1978. Not only is he bad at predicting things but he's kind of a bummer to hang out with." -Jimmy Kimmel

***
[Following are some very funny spelling bloopers caught in local newspapers, publications and various emails. See if you can catch the goofs.]

1. "...an autopsy to determine if the elderly man lost courteousness for medical reasons." (Trenton, N.J.)

2. "[An NBA coach] will take charge of a young team still in the throws of a roster overhaul." (Vernon, Conn.)

3. "'It's pretty exciting,' according to his material grandmother." (Potsdam, N.Y.)

4. "The MCCC fight team won 21 out of 32 awards and brought home nine metals." Including the gold? (Trenton, N.J.)

5. "McNabb...exasperated the injury attempting to chase down Dallas Cowboys safety Roy Williams." (Trenton, N.J.)

6. "Boxer Pups AKC, 1M, 1F, Bread for Health and Temperament." (e-mail)

7. "[Paris Hilton] was probably going through cocaine withdrawls." Is she from the South? (Sunnyvale, Calif.)

8. "Our lunch menu [includes] a variety of hot entrees and tempting deserts." Presumably also hot. (Upper Saint Clair, Pa.)

9. "Vincent was a brawny Swiss ex-patriot." (San Jose, Calif.)

10. "...those who acquaint shopping with charity." (Simsbury, Conn.)

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Corrections: 1. consciousness 2. throes 3. maternal 4. medals 5. exacerbated 6. bred 7. withdrawals 8. desserts 9. expatriate 10. equate


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A group of foreign dignitaries are visiting Israel. At the end of the tour, they are taken to see the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. They look at the tomb and read the following inscription: ABRAHAM SCHWARTZ BORN 5694 DIED 5733 A GOOD MAN AND A GREAT FURRIER.

The visitors are incredulous. They ask the guide, "How can this be an unknown soldier if the grave has his name?"

Their host responds, "Sure, as a soldier he was unknown, but as a furrier -- he was the best!"