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Thursday, September 1, 2011

Good morning crew,

Welcome to September, folks, and payday for me! And it's good timing, too. This weekend is Frankfort Fest and it would take a stronger man than me to skip those delicious roast pig sandwiches with spicy brown mustard (or barbecue sauce if you prefer), sauer kraut and German potato salad, all washed down with delicious, icy cold beer.

That is typically the last big fest of the summer. Then Monday is Labor Day. That is the unofficial end of summer. Another one down. They start to flicker past pretty quickly, don't they?

At least after that I get to look forward to Oktoberfest.

It's important to have goals.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. We have a *NEW* archive page! You can read newsletters from Clean Laffs to Bizarre News and dozens of titles in between. Years worth of issues! Just check out the link at the right of the page!


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"Over 6 million people were evacuated from New Jersey ahead of the hurricane. And now, three of them have gone back." -Jay Leno

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"VMA may stand for 'Video Music Awards,' but I feel like it stands for 'Vulgar-Mouthed Adolescents.'" -Craig Ferguson

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"At the VMAs, Beyonce revealed that she and Jay-Z are expecting a baby. That kid is going to have everything ? except a last name." -Jimmy Fallon

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The proud father brought home a backyard swing set for his children and immediately started to assemble it with all the neighborhood children anxiously waiting to play on it.

After several hours of reading the directions, attempting to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., he finally gave up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard.

The old-timer came over, threw the directions away, and in a short while had the set completely assembled.

It's beyond me," said the father, "how you got it together without even reading instructions."

"To tell the truth," replied the old-timer, "I can't read, and when you can't read, you've got to think."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

The problem - There's a box with a hole at each end and there's a rabbit in the box. The rabbit sticks his head out of the hole in one end, and a minute later he sticks it out the other end.

Half a minute later, his head appears at the opposite end, a fourth of a minute later it appears at the end opposite to that one, an eighth of a minute later... etc., etc.

How long will it take before the rabbit sticks its head out of both ends of the box at the same time?

In theory, two minutes. In practice, no answer is possible unless, of course, you split hares.