Thursday, June 7, 2012

Good morning crew,

I have never written so many checks in my life. Everybody gets a check. The church gets a check, the wedding coordinator gets a check, the guy who plugs in the speakers gets a check, the custodian gets a check. Of course, things like the restaurant for the rehearsal dinner won't take a check, so I have taken to carrying around a large wad of cash with me wherever I go.

I feel like I should be armed.

But it will all be over soon. Then all I will have to worry about is how to pay for the honeymoon.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A woman in Buffalo set a new world record for eating 183 buffalo wings. I don't think there will be a second date." -David Letterman

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"'Dancing With the Stars' has big names this season, including that guy from that thing." -Craig Ferguson

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"Beaches in Italy are now training dogs to become lifeguards. That should work as long as someone throws a tennis ball at you while you're drowning." -Jimmy Fallon

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My husband grew increasingly displeased as our teenage daughter and her boyfriend studied in her room late one evening. Finally losing patience shortly after midnight, he knocked sharply on her door. Her boyfriend immediately opened it and asked if something was wrong.

"I have to ask you to move your car," my husband told him.

"Oh, sure. Is it in someone's way?"

"No," he replied, "it's parked in the wrong driveway."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
A new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with her password.

"The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," she says.

"The asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains, "so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password."

"Yeah," she says, "but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me."