Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Good morning crew,

For those of you who might have missed it, last weekend was Valentine's Day (last Friday, actually). The wife surprised me by taking me to a live musical performance of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde which is playing at a theater a couple towns over from us.

It is a rather historic theater, too. The Rialto opened in 1926 and was designed by the same sculptor who worked on the Chicago Board of Trade, Soldier Field, the Merchandise Mart, and the Wrigley Building, among others. It's all gilded and colonnaded. In other words, a very impressive building to visit.

The beer prices were impressive too. 6 dollars for domestic beer. Cans, no less. I guess they don't like glass in their 90-year-old theater. Not that this crowd was about to get rowdy and start throwing bottles.

I would have been less concerned with the beer prices if I weren't developing a rather friendly relationship with the beer guy. No fault to the performers, who put in a very good effort, but the material was a little - I don't know - 'dry' might be a good word for it. And while I couldn't juice up the play I could lubricate my throat, which I did with several beers.

I don't know who was more annoyed; my wife, who paid $60 for the tickets, or the poor woman sitting in between me and the aisle over whose knees I had to climb every fifteen minutes, either to buy more beer or to pee.

And while a night of live theater was very nice, the wife continued the surprises by actually cooking for me both Saturday night and Sunday night. Saturday she made chicken parmesan with spaghetti, and Sunday she made a home-made pizza. And I don't mind saying both were very good.

It wasn't too long ago that I had to show her how to fry eggs, and look at her now.

So a night of live entertainment and two home-cooked meals. It was quite a Valentine's Day weekend for me.

I got her a belt.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A woman in Florida gave birth to a baby weighing in at 14.1 pounds. So I guess the question is: a baby what?" -Seth Meyers

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"Neil Armstrong's widow was going through his closet and she found a bunch of things that he brought back with him from the moon, including some souvenirs. And I thought: Wait a minute, there's a gift shop on the moon?" -Dave Letterman

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"A new study found that married couples who go on double dates with other couples are more likely to have better relationships. They say it inspires better communication - on the ride home, when you talk about how much you hated the other couple." -Jimmy Fallon

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10 RULES FOR GOOD HOUSEKEEPING

1. It is time to clean out the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.

2. Keep it clean enough for healthy, dirty enough for happy.

3. Never make fried chicken in the nude.

4. Do not engage in unarmed combat with a dust bunny big enough to choke the vacuum cleaner.

5. You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

6. If guys were suppose to hang clothes up, door knobs would be bigger.

7. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

8. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

9. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere.

10. When writing your name in the dust on the table, omit the date.


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
My son stayed up half the night studying for his English Literature exam. He would drink coffee almost constantly while attempting to read "The Canterbury Tales." I awoke at 4 A. M. and found him studying with mug in hand, and asked him, "What have you got there?"

He answered... "Just my cup and Chaucer."