Monday, April 4, 2016

Good morning crew,

After spending a long Saturday morning and afternoon at the school for promotion testing, and then having to walk to the auto shop through freezing 30 mile-per-hour wind to pick up my truck (I'll tell you that story later), I was rewarded with a day of complete sloth on Sunday.

This was only due to the fact that the wife spent the entire day at a spa on the north side and wasn't home to make any plans for me. And I'm not too proud to admit I really enjoyed it. I spent almost the entire day in my bathrobe and it was everything I hoped it would be.

And when the wife did finally make it home at almost six p.m. she even brought me a Nurnberger Rostbratwurstl from the Hofbrauhaus on the north side. So I forgave her for leaving me all of the laundry to do.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"A balloon released by a girl in Texas was found this week over 900 miles away in Ohio. Or, more likely, Ohio also has red balloons." -Seth Meyers

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"Chipotle is considering opening a new restaurant that specializes in hamburgers. After what their burritos did, Chipotle now wants to ruin a new set of buns." -Jimmy Fallon

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"A controversial 1,200-year-old document has been found that shows evidence that Jesus was married. I don't believe it. What married guy gets to spend all his free time with his 12 buddies?" -Conan O'Brien

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The wife left a note on the fridge:

"It's not working, I can't take it anymore! Gone to stay with my mother."

I opened the fridge, the light came on, the beer was cold.

I wonder what the hell she is talking about?


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
One day Ole and Sven were paging through the Sears Catalog and admiring all the beautiful models.

Ole said to Sven, "Haf you seen da perdy girls in dis catalog?"

Sven replied, "Ya. Dey sure are bootiful, an yust look at da prices!"

Ole looked wide eyed and said, "Yumpin' yimminy. Dey ain't very expensive. At dees prices I'm buyin' me vun."

Sven smiled, patted Ole on the back and said, "by golly Ole, if she's as perdy as she looks in da catalog, I vill get vun too."

Three weeks later Sven came by and asked Ole, "did ja ever git dat girl you ordered from da Sears Catalog?"

Ole replied, "no, but it von't be long now, her clothes came yesterday!"